A New Journey

We have been blessed. Beyond what I could even imagine.

In December 2014, we welcomed the most beautiful bundle of joy. She was 6lbs10z, and 20.5inches.

We have been incredibly lucky to breastfeed well (even through a cows milk protein intolerance) and just form an amazing bond to this wonderful new person in our life.

When my cycle came back in September, we had no real thought of getting pregnant again quickly, mostly because we figured that I’m not particularly fertile. Still, I could tell when in my cycle was more or less fertile, but wasn’t thinking much of it.

Until about ten days ago, when I realized that after several cycles that had not been longer than 29 days (short for me), I was suddenly on day 32, and feeling…odd. And I kind of knew. We got two pregnancy tests in Seattle, where we were for a wedding of a friend, and got both two pink lines and those magic words, “pregnant.”

Any woman who has dealt with infertility knows that even after the first baby is here, infertility still plays a role in how you think about family, babies, pregnancy. There are two women I know who had babies right after us, and I was really hoping to get pregnant before them, and a couple other friends who I know are trying and I wanted to be before them. Petty? Probably. But it’s the way it is. And now, it’s a little unexpected to be pregnant this quickly. I’m a little still in shock. But it’s good shock. The best.

But I need a place to process some thoughts, and I thought of this blog.

We won’t announce to the world for a while, and even though a few select people know (including immediate family), it’s a lot to keep in my head. So, watch this space for baby talk.

Due date is, funnily enough, the Shabbat of Sukkot. My daughter was born erev Hannukah, so always around a Jewish holiday.

Hello World!

Why now?

In the last 12 months, my husband and I have been trying to conceive our first child. For no reason we know yet, it hasn’t happened for us. We’ve used charting, and I have done a little bit of acupuncture. In February of this year, I had an HSG, which showed that I might have a blocked fallopian tube. At the end of this current cycle, my OB will refer us to an RE.

We had a small moment of hope last cycle – the only one we’ve had so far. It was a very faint second line on a test, the first one we’ve ever had – which was followed two days later by a negative test, and then 36 hours after that, AF. My response to those events and the realization that I needed a place to put those thoughts, is what propelled me to write.

What will I write about?

In part, it will depend on where our journey takes us. Part of the difficulty with infertility is the uncertainty. Another part will be telling the story of where we are now and how we got there. And finally, because it’s important to me, a part will likely be about the role faith is playing in this journey. We are Jewish, and it’s very important to us, so it will be part of my story. But, like everyone, I welcome readers of all backgrounds.

What’s the title about?

The thing is, aside from this, our life is really fantastic. As I was explaining to my husband last night, we are literally living our dream, and while it can be stressful and isn’t perfect, not many people get to do what we are doing. But, even with all that, there’s this one small thing – one small thing that can overshadow everything. So partially, it’s about reminding myself that life is good, outside of this area, and that that is important to remember as much as possible.

The other aspect is that I’m also an only, the product of my parents overcoming infertility in the mid-80s. And I was never meant to be an only – but they never got another miracle. So, I’m an only – and struggling with infertility.

Looking forward to getting to know you, and thanks for reading1